rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize