I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
