you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
