the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
