I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize