Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Fuck appropriateness.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
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My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
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Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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