Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
