I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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