I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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