I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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