I want to stick my p in your. b.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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