ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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