Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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