She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize