I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
