Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
