Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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