When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
