did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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