somebody snuck up and got me drunk
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
