yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
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Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
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Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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