dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
