It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
