I hate all girls vehemently.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
