Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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