The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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