Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's shark week go big or go home
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
