im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
