Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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