Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
