that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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