Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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