she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize