Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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