We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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