I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
