ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize