I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just threw up on my dentist
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Randomize
