apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize