she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize