no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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