So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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