her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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