I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
