Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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