I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just had sex bonerless
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
