I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
