So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
