Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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