So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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