I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
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I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
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Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize