why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
