doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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