I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
