This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
