yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
