Girls should come with a carfax report
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
